Something Something, part 3

Amal

I have to squint a little to see clearly at the mirror now. Did that last botox already wear off!? I can see so many damn lines! I'm trying to remember the last conversation with my sister on the latest skincare regimens it's all blurring together I wish I cared gave more of a shit about my looks.

Makeup is a 7 minute process. Clothes already done. I'm out, and relieved. It's close, so I'm driving myself, even though I swear I've suddenly started going blind when driving at night. Those fuckers who did the lasik were right, I did get nearsighted post-40. 

"O EM GEE looking so HOT babe" Sehr hugs me tight as soon as I walk in, and I can't help but laugh at how over the top she is. We all love her for it. She's wearing the fabulous new Armani, and if I still had the figure for it I would have been jealous. 

I head over to the table next to the snacks, where predictably, Fadi is sitting along with the latest arm hanger. Some things never change. "Hey old man" we hug and air kiss, and it feels good to see him again. 

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with my friend" his eyes crinkle at the corners just a bit too, and I can't help but laugh. 

"Post vacation, new earrings, new botox guy is all I need to look this good" I mock courtesy, and we both crack up.

His date is looking at me very bewildered, and I suddenly feel awkward. God she's young.

"Helloooo. You must be Fahd's bestees sister Amal! He keeps talking about you!" she says sweetly, not a guile in her sweet shiny brown eyes. God she must be at least two decades younger than that old coot. I can't help but give Fadi a WTF look at I introduce myself and hug her hello. He is unabashed and shrugs back, as if he can't help dating insanely young women, like the gross old uncles we made fun of at those Sind Club nights. What were those nights called? Aladin nights? Shazam nights? Uff to be 18 again and be able to digest all that alcohol.

She squeals loudly startling both of us. "That soooonnnnnnnggg" she screams, and a gaggle of her friends come and they all descend to the dance floor which is mercifully outside and far away enough to save our ears.

I think about not saying anything, but I have to. "Dude! What on earth is that!" I can't help but punch his arm.

"Bumble! you will not believe how many of these amazing women are on it! She's a lawyer from London!"

"That is SO unfair. All I found were some super gross married men looking for affairs. So disgusting. Oh and that asshole M"

"M!?"

I suddenly realize I hadn't mentioned M to Fadi even once for some reason. "Ohh I see Sarah calling me" and I run for it.

----

Fadi

M! M! What the actual fuck. And just like that, all the work I had done, all the therapy, just as I thought I could see a future with this crazy talented woman I met on Bumble of all fucking places, but just seeing Amal again and I've relapsed. What the fuck is wrong with me. And just like that, I feel like familiar feeling of my brain collapsing to cotton wool. Why can't I just let this shit go. Toxic circles. This. This is why I don't leave the house. How many times do I have to do this to myself!

Ok deep breaths. Breathe in. Breathe out. Count to 10. You can do this.

But it's gone. The vibe I was enjoying, gone. The drink, sour, The music, alien and jarring - who the fuck actually likes Taylor Swift. I feel this familiar cloying desperation to leave and just the fuck back home. And fall asleep on the couch doom scrolling like always. Who the fuck is M. 

I make it to the entrance, and I'm getting into the car when she comes out. 

And all those years, all those times when we've met escaping some social hell, and I've stupidly been silent, and I have no idea what happens but before I know it I'm saying "Hey. Come for a drive, let's talk"

---

Amal

I'm about the laugh and say "Trust me to find you running away" but he surprises me with that. Talk about what I want to ask, but looking at this face, I think I already know. Holy shit. A part of me is not surprised, but a part of me is as well.

"Ok" i say slowly, and we both seem surprised by that.