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Wednesday, June 15, 2005

for i have sinned...

counting from the bottom, i'm pretty far up. i'm not a murderer (i'm sociopathic enough to be), i'm not a rapist, attacker or a molester. i'm haven't defrauded anyone, i haven't skimped my taxes, i haven't ever made a late credit card payment. i'm loyal, i'm honest, i'm princepled. i don't drink, i don't smoke, i don't smoke up (but thats because i saw a man speaking out of a mike because of throat cancer when i was 5).

but counting from the top, i'm pretty far down. i'm pretty strong in my morals and convictions, but feel that my convictions are strong enough to bear with a little bending now and then. i'm not generally a nice person, because people are generally not nice. i don't pray, i don't take vitamins, i don't exercise. i'm lazy, i'm selfish, i'm tired all the time, and when i'm stressed or PMSing i bark at people. everytime i hear the ring of a sony ericsson (my old phone), my heart stops. for every ten minutes on a treadmill, i have twenty minutes of dizziness.

so why do You do this? can't You just give me a B average and let me be? is there something in me You see that i don't? do You think i will triuph after this? do You think i will get my act together, get my life together, start doing all the things i give a vague ounce of thought to and then forget? WHAT DO YOU SEE IN ME!? WHY CAN'T I SEE IT??

5 comments:

discopapaya said...

potential.

i have no idea who you are, but i can tell (just like 'You') your destined for great things. Your worth too much to get anything less.

blindside the goldfish said...

so where is the sinning? you don't do anything 'bad' and you feel pretty crappy still..that's a rough deal

naked feet said...

exactly! there is no sinning.. and there are no good deeds either.. there is a mediocre ripple-less existence that fate keeps pronking

i don't like it

Arooj said...

i also do the treadmill thing. hehe

heyloserimtalkingtoyou said...

so...basically you're complaining to God about a repetative, mediochere life, and you can't find a reason as to why He would do this to you? That's what I'm getting...but if I'm wrong, please correct me. I am still a bit confused, however, about the last paragraph. I'd like to know what you're searching for? But over all, very nicely done. I like your style of writing. It leaves one thinking...which is what I'll be doing for the next few hours, trying to understand what you mean. Lol. Good job.

caro