stress, lies and videotape

i hate my blog. i hate myself.

this was just a dream so no one get any ideas

the stranger came to me when i was walking in the garden. the first thing i noticed was that he was very good looking, and very familiar at the same time. his eyes were black. i couldn't stop staring.

he simply walked up, and licked my ear. his tongue - it was forked.

"i can give you anything you want" he hissed.

and i looked up, and in front of me was a mirror.

it was a metal plate actually, polished by little hands to a high shine. it distorted my nose, so it looked humungous, made my ears look huge, my eyes squinty, my teeth yellow, my knees crooked, and my back obviously, was twisted like quasimodo.

i could feel his tongue snaking through my ear drum. a hissing sound drowned out all thought.

through all the hissing, my head cleared a little and i laughed with scorn. did he think he could tempt me with looks? i had them, and hated myself anyway.

the tongue, it wiggled further. the mirror dissapeared, and before me stretched vast deserts of lonliness. my knees buckled with the sorrow, the loss, the aching lack of companionship. his nails, they dug into my back, gripped the base of my spine till i gasped in pain, and then he kissed my ear: "you can have anything you want my love. anything"

the hissing... it didn't stop. i was screaming at him to wait. i didn't have time to think. why did i have to? only the desert awaited. temptation of an oasis. no. i would not give in. i've seen the movies. i've read the books. the devil's always slippery.

the tongue is purple. i can see it as it tickles my lower medulla, and i stop thinking.

"yes. you can help me." how do i ask to stop the lonliness? how do i close end this request?

"give me sex"

i hear laughing, shrieks of it. i think its my own. its inside my head anyway. i let him in. i'm the one doing the hissing now.

"ITS DONE THEN" and the deal is sealed.

my arms, they go numb. with horror, i feel them start moving downwards. i'm in my bed, i'm trying to wake up, but its too late. its done. my hands, they do the deal.

i wake up screaming.