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Monday, January 23, 2006

sexual healing

relationships with a U rating are painful for several reasons:
(EFFECT 1)
manifested upon (i) the people in the relationship themselves
manifested through (i) fights, racy banter, physically violent reactions to otherwise normal stimuli (wresting match over who gets the last toothpick anyone?)
cause: acute sexual frustration.

(EFFECT 2)
manifested upon (i) loved ones of the people in the relationship
effects (i) excruciatingly embarrassing moments of being part of a third wheel while other two cuddle at the drop of a hat (that chair can only seat ONE, people!), watching while the couple dances slowly to fast songs, being part of a dinner table conversation where the couple ignores you but stares at each other instead
cause: acute sexual frustration

(EFFECT 3)
manifested upon (i) random innocent bystanders near the people in the relationship
effects (i) physically nauseating innuendo filled conversations, surreptitious hand holding and inappropriate footsie playing
cause: acute sexual frustration

moral of the story: after the legal age of fifteen, parents should give children an exclusive annex of their own where they can run wild with no supervision. a box of condoms and a birthing video can also be supplied to health safety and sanity reasons.

2 comments:

Phitaymaun said...

15? You can't be serious! Have we sunk so deep into depravity that pubescent sexual experimentation is acceptable?
Shocking!

Atleast 17... yup 17 sounds less controversial.
17 is a good age to getcho freaka on.

besides that, yup sorta agree with yoru analysis, only i feel its important to be emotionally attached to someone before initiating intimacy. Going by Physical attraction alone breeds a degree of sluttiness (in both men and women) which is rather unsavory in retrospect.

naked feet said...

the birthing video would perclude all sex unless there was an extreme emotional bond that could overcome that :)

but the illusion of freedom would spare effect 2 & 3