It was a dream. We were all on a giant table, God somewhere at the throne, the angels flitting around. This is life, this is us living on earth, I realized looking around. No one else seemed to know I know. We were all holding hands, one hand on my mother, one hand in my fathers. 

Suddenly, an explosion. No. An expected earthquake. No one worried, but such controlled upheaval in such a small specific section of our benches, only us getting tossed hither skither, landing down. I'm holding Z. He doesn't look like himself, but I know it's him. I will always know him, his black and brown turd-like soul. 

The upheaval is coming again, and I'm.. conscious.. through it? spun around, knowing that i need to grab someone else. I reach through the abyss for Z. We land, and the angels are shocked. One slaps the elbow of another and tells it to look at me. What i've done. A crowd gathers, they don't see this often. I've grabbed Z with both hands. He is holding two other people, back to me, no longer looking. I chose him. I always chose him. Always, forever, that undeserving fucker.

This is what I chose. Holding on to someone who I wasn't supposed to. A life of loneliness.