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Saturday, May 21, 2005

trashy romances and alias overload

Low, low slung jeans, hastily yanked on as he dives out the bathroom window onto the fire escape. No time. Bare flesh, flat planes of muscle flexing and contracting with each pounding step towards the roof. Breath condensing to steam with each exertion.

The woman abandoned in the bed stretches sinuously, then wraps the sheet around her naked body. Hair rumpled, make-up seductively smudged, her bare feet lazily make their way to the window with long legged grace. She laughs silently. Gooseflesh ripples down her arms as the night wind chills the steamy room. Unbothered, she looks beyond the neighboring high rises and miles of urban landscape. She’s counting the time he’ll be taking in the bathroom. Her eyes rest briefly on the second building from the left. She lifts her palm, and places it on the cool glass, a silent salute.
The third window on the second floor acknowledges the signal with a flicker, then all goes black.
Still laughing softly, she strolls over to the bar, and fills a long flute with straight cranberry juice. She grabs a few strawberries from a nearby bowl, then drops the sheet. Taking a juicy bite and a long sip, she makes her way back to the bed, She lies on top of the sheets, artfully sprawled over luxorious eiderdown, and awaits his return.

The cold slaps his chest, and instantly condenses to a burn in his lungs. He strains with oxygen debt as he takes the last rung, clears the concrete to the expanse of urban skyline. He sees a movement to his right, and recognition barely registers before the leather clad leg snakes up behind his back, and knocks him face first into the floor. Icy steel snicks past his ear and rests behind his neck. For a split second, he freezes. Then he blindly grabs the shoe heel he has eye contact with and pulls. Manages to flip onto his back, get to his feet.
And finds a gun resting point blank on the center of his forehead.
Completely unruffled, her black ponytail intact, she smiles. Her jump suit leaves little to the imagination. “Hey grey eyes, got a good workout with your girlfriend??”
Instant recognition, black hair against pristine white pillow case. Lamplight on creamy skin. He grins right into the gun barrel, and drawls, “nah honey, that was just a warm up. I’d ask you to join us, but she’s a little particular.”
Eyes narrowed, she opens her mouth to speak, but with a flick of his arm her has her throat between his hands. He anticipates the groin crushing knee, and has already spanned one hand around her waist, shoving her too close to do any damage. Standard issue material imprints onto his exposed chest. Legs entangled, pony tail slightly askew, she’s breathing a little heavily. He cuts off anything she was about to say, “why don’t you just tell me what the hell the old bastard wants me to do, I’m running out of time for your little games”.
She tries pushing him away, then gives in. “He told me to tell you that they know you’re here. Leave in the morning. He’ll see you at plan B on the high street on Tuesday.” She pushes him away again, he traps her hand against his heart.
Black eyes stare into grey. “She’s nothing. I swear. What I asked you that day, it still stands.”
She looks away, tries to snatch her hand back. Reluctantly, he lets her go. Watches as she clips on her safety ropes. She stands at the edge of the precipice, poised, black hair darker than the night sky, strands whipping her pale face. Her eyes glimmer white in the dark. She pauses a second, then mumbles something into her radio, and then jumps off the side of the building. Nylon leaded twine whirs as it carries her weight down forty stories to the lights below.

He turns his back, climbs back down. Enters the warmth. Walks over, deliberately draws the shades over the palm smudged window.

He’d just deal with her right now instead of the morning. To hell with the old man and his bloody instructions.

[on edit: poor character development, weak plot, random story line. better luck next time]

16 comments:

Ent said...

it has promise. the style i mean, not thse story.

Ent said...

it has promise. the style i mean, not thse story.

BaptizedLucifer said...

ufho, was hopin the piggy tale would smash his head into the wash basin or somethign and the other weirdo would be left waiting.. muahahaha... aaaah the ironcy and cold bloodedness...

alas...

so we got a guy who'll fcuk anyone while hes waiting for an answer as the prot.? lol

and as elfy said, style... love it.

discopapaya said...

stop being so hard on yourself..

i would cut of my right arm to be able to write well enough as you (and i dont think im only talking about myself)

your a great writer. accept it.

:D

BaptizedLucifer said...

ur so right dp, i mean, all one has to do is read my comments to know what CRAP writing is all about. :P

and hey, ur one to talk... ur really good at it urself! =)

argh, i should leave before i start gettig jealous. :P

BaptizedLucifer said...

oh u shut it tiddy, u coudnt make any one jealous to save ur life! :P

Phitaymaun said...

as i said once before, you can't help being interesting.
The story has merit too actually. It leaves a lot of room for twists and turns, and well with the way you write, you could make a pakistani movie look good.
Wanna write a screenplay together?;)

Look at me shamlessly flirting in blog world :P

discopapaya said...

damn.. i didnt even know you COULD flirt in blog world.

oh well u learn something new everyday i guess

(oh and thanks luci. I feel i should say something like "are u mad i cant write for shit" but seeing how nice you are to me i think ill take the compliment and run for my life :D )

and yes nf, please do write more often!

BaptizedLucifer said...

hahaha dp--u see beknighted is a multi-talented kind ;-)

Phitaymaun said...

dp: you can flirt newhere netime, thts the beauty of flirting;)
btw isn't dp porn slang???
luci: yeah baby, i'm all that:D

naked feet said...

well it was more of a business proposition than a blog flirt.

benighted: i wouldn't mind directing/producing a screen play, but i've never thought of writing one for some reason

as for the story: it kind of wrote itself. i actually like the characters, the asshole cute guy, the serious pony tail chick he loves, and the slutty vamp he's sleeping with who is using him for her own nefarious purposes.
i just made the mistake of rereading it and all the editing killed it
:)

a kick ass chick flick vignette coming up

G said...

i want some blood. can the next segment kill of some ppl please? pleeeaassee...how about just a kitten? uhhhhh...goldfish? how about the guy walks over to the evil dude and kills his goldfish by feeding it to the piranhas and then kills himself. i think that'd be a great story....

~Gauher-the-schizo-psycho-moron

BaptizedLucifer said...

hahahaha gauher said it... BLOOD!

i was so hoping the guy would DIE...

sigh...

hmm, i wonder who/what im pissed off at to want someone to die... to want a fictional character to die... L-/

BaptizedLucifer said...

who wants ficitonal slaves tiddy? only a syko.

BaptizedLucifer said...

my work? i got nothing done at work today. it wus such a useless day. and the fault lies with all these other companies i had to deal with today. hell with the afro americans, lemme tell you, DESIS are the most annoying ppl to deal with... they get scared at the mentioned of "government"... they freak out when you say u wanna talk to their boss... theyir such a pain... and they never know whats going in their ocmpany.. as long as theyre getting a paycheck at the end of the month they dont care. UFFFFHHHHHHH

Ent said...

write something woman. i want to read some good writing