10 easy steps to avoid revealing you're an asshole:
(1) don't tell women stories that start with: "one time i got so wasted i .. ". this isn't high school or college. we're not interested. grow up.
(2) don't tell women stories that end with "and so i beat that guy up". just dont.
(3) don't talk about a movie or a book if you don't understand it. really. don't.
(4) avoid the word "steal". do not share stories about shop lifting, stealing in a resteraunt, or taking stuff out of someones else washer at a laundromat. not cool. not cool at all.
(5) if your driving involves (a) ANY hand gestures (yours or others), (b) horns blaring in your wake (c) you honking at little old ladies driving (d) agressively high beaming the guy in front of you, you need to stay OFF the road. do not have women in the car. they WILL get pissed off.
(6) do not share stories about how you were mean to the nerd kid school. we'd rather go out with him than hang out with you. really.
(7) resist the urge to talk about yourself. resist it. RESIST.
(8) do not scratch any area covered by underwear. none.
(9) wear underwear. please.
(10) shower regularly. anything involving less than fifteen minutes and no soap doesn't count.
4 comments:
LOL @ # 10.
It's sooo true.. there is nothing more gross than dirty people.. i.e, a couple of co workers I had to deal with a while back and finally, when I couldnt deal with it anymore, I blurted it out to them.. amazingly, they do shower everyday in the interest of personal hygeine now..
That was a good list =)
was all that just one guy or is that an accumalation of all the assholes that you've had to suffer?
I don't think all of them appliy to women in general though.
well it was for most of the men i unfortunately come into contact with.
it amazes me how similar they all are, and how cool they all think they are, when really, they're not.
i've realized its because whereas girls make the leap to being women, these guys aren't about to make the leap to being Men for another decade or so (if even then).
its sad.whats also sad is that i think i'll stay single forever...
tis good to be peter pan.
:D
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