I enter his living room, and immediately feel this social anxiety fueled heart stopping horror when I don't see anyone. Did I get the day wrong? I panic, feeling like I've missed an exam or something. Calm down, breathe. Adulthood takes over. The room is cool, in contrast to the sweltering Karachi summer outside, lights on, snacks laid out, so clearly company is expected. I'm not early by any standards, and the staff that led me here knew I was coming. Where is everyone?
Mr. Famous Last Name walks in from the other door, and I feel that sweet rush of relief, and that simultaneous pull of attraction. I like his face.
He lights up when he notices I'm standing there. "I'm glad you made it!" he says happily.
We hug, and it feels good to see him again. We both don't live in Karachi the corporate capital, but seem to fly in frequently enough to have met a dozen times in the last six months. I associate my business trips with him and his old and now empty family home, more than my sister who I stay with. She's usually too busy with work, kids, routine, and our schedules rarely overlap, except for our 530 AM coffee before the kids are woken up.
"Where is everyone!" I ask.
"S had to leave town yesterday for a few days, just got off the phone with R he can't make it, and F is saying she's running late at work. It looks like it's just us non Karachi'ites meeting today" He looks a little... guilty? Sheepish?
We've hung alone before, but always on the cusp of friendship bordering on attraction. I've never really been sure if we've been old friends catching up, or adults mutually attracted to each other to see how this will turn out. We start off normally, but then we seem to switch gears mid-conversation into something sexual. Like when we all went to the beach, running to the sea and I felt this deep stomach flipping pull when he took off his shirt to reveal his washboard six pack to jump into the water with everyone. Or when we were talking about something innocuous another time, and R came running up and spilled my water on my t-shirt, and I noticed his eyes go black as he looked at my chest, before quickly averting his eyes and offering me a spare shirt. Tonight suddenly seems more intimate, and I'm not ready for this. Adulthood has made me value my friendships much more than a roll in the hay which can come and go any time.
"Oh! Should we postpone this then?" I suggest.
"Nah let's watch it and share spoilers with them for ditching us" he laughs, and I love the way his eyes crinkle at the corner.
I'm a little hesitant, but my son is already with my sister for the night, and I'm not complaining about a rare stretch of freedom.
We get chips, dip, popcorn, which I have no plans on touching because who needs all those empty calories, and then A dims the lights as the entire wall flickers to life with the movie.
He settles in at the other end of the sofa, and I am a little relieved that there is a comfortable old friend vibe vs. date alone vibe.
Somewhere between the dim lights, cold room, comfortable sofa, and my permanent state of exhaustion, I fall asleep. I surface a little while later, noticing that the movie is still on, but I have a throw on me keeping me warm. I wonder briefly if he's noticed I'm asleep but then go back under before I can ask.
I briefly wake up again during a loud action sequence, and notice that I'm now lying horizontal on the sofa, and my legs are in his lap, my calves across his thighs under the makeshift blanket. I consider checking in with the baby sitter, but before I can reach for the phone, the nap feels too good and pulls me under again.
I wake up, and the credits are rolling. Shit I fell asleep through the entire movie. I'm not quite surprised, as I haven't had the mental bandwidth to stay awake through an entire movie since I gave birth. Hilariously, I notice that A is asleep as well, snoring slightly.
I check for drool, and realize I'm still lying down my legs sprawled over him. Nothing says platonic friendship like falling asleep together. I can't help but laugh again, but bite my lip and try to clamp it down so I don't wake him up. The situation feels funnier by the second, and I'm trying to still my shaking shoulders, wondering if I should get up, when his eyes flick open.
It takes him a second to re-surface, and then he notices me dying of laughter and we both crack up at normal volume.
"Well that's a first" he says, and is reaching for my legs to either tickle my feet or put them down.
"Is that a Cornetto in your pocket or are you just happy to see me" I shriek with laughter, referring to an old joke.
"You did NOT just go there" he flings my legs off him, and stands up immediately. "I am NOT a fifteen year old walking hard-on anymore!" he says part defensively and part laughing. I can't stop shrieking with laughter. He reaches over and grabs me in a neck lock and ruffles my hair. I'm still howling with laughter but also with horror at my hair getting ruined, trying to get him off me. "Plus she never wore a bra, and our uniforms were SEE THROUGH. And it was twenty years ago!" he's trying to yell above my laughter.
I finally free myself and scramble up, and he stands up annoyed but also seeing the humor. "I will SO tell everyone we slept together" he finally comes up as revenge. I laugh some more because it's technically true. He's stretching his long frame, over six feet of lean muscle, and my mind switches gears to thinking about him, naked, in bed, over me. God I have such a dirty mind!
He hits the remote to get the lights on, and the spell is broken as the background noise stops and we're suddenly in silence.
"Dear God that was a great nap" he says, looking mildly surprised. "I can never just simply fall asleep anymore!"
"I do it all the time! I should have warned you" I chuckle. "But now I probably won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night"
"I thought it was hilarious when you nodded off by the way. But not anymore. I think I'm going to watch movies to nap forever now" his eyes still hold mirth.
I quickly check again for drool and smudged makeup, and hunt under the sofa for my bag.
"Ok I'm going to go now" "Let's grab some dinner" we say simultaneously. Then laugh.
"You're going to be up, let's just hang out a little while more" he says. "I'll drop you back later."
"Oh! Ok, why not" One night of freedom from single mom-ing sounds pretty good, why not extend it a little longer. It's not like anything other than Netflix or a book await me. Maybe some emails or finishing that report. Hanging out sounds better. "I'll try to stay awake this time, but try to be more interesting" I poke his side, and he elbows me while grabbing the phone and dialing take out.
"Pizza?" He asks, and he's read my mind. Yum.
He's talking on the phone, and walks over to the liquor cabinet and pulls out some scotch. I wrinkle my nose in disgust when he silently offers me some while continuing to order. He points to wine, and I shrug a why not. He covers the mouthpiece and asks if I want anything else, and then finishes up the call.
"So how have you been" He says as he comes around to my side of the bar, sitting on the stool next to me. I turn to him, and our knees almost bump.
"Trapped in travel lust. Dying to take my next vacation" I say.
"Who isn't!" We discuss the pros and cons of Europe in the summer vs. East Asian beaches. He tells me about his new real estate investment in Pattaya, I tell him about how my Borneo jungle walk was amazing, but I preferred the Langkawi resort with its beach and giant pool which had a resident monitor lizard. I sigh as I recount a wedding I saw from my beach lounger, a man in a full Scottish kilt marrying a beautiful local in her sea of white lace, as the wedding party had a crazy time well into the night.
"You should have a destination wedding" he suggests. "I can see you in a wedding gown in the beach" His eyes go a little dark, and our gear notches up to sexual tension for some reason.
"And mandatory flipflops and tequila shots to enter!" I crack to lighten the mood.
"Oh my God Z was completely and utterly plastered on your mehndi you remember! He refused to leave till his friends came and physically picked him up and took him home" he laughs, but is shaking his head in disbelief. "He was an ass even then!"
"Yes! I had suggested taking some wine to calm my nerves before the wedding and he threw a fit and completely forbade me from having any alcohol. And then the first time I had seen him at our wedding, he was so drunk he couldn't walk!" I can laugh about it now, but it had annoyed me for quite a while at the time.
Suddenly, the lights go off. Startled, I skid off the stool, mom-reflex kicking in, automatically about to head for baby R. I'm fumbling around unfamiliar hands and legs, when A grabs my arm to steady me, and the automatic generator kicks in and the lights flick back on.
"What on earth are you doing" he's looking at me with a raised eyebrow like I'm crazy. I'm tangled in his legs, his arm on me, while he sits on the barstool looking at me quizzically. "Oh! Mom skills, was trying to run to R to make sure he's not scared" I laugh, feeling stupid. R isn't even here, but some habits are pure instinct. "Plus I'm not used to these stupid power outages!" I laugh.
"Idiot" He says, but there is something in his eyes. Suddenly the gear is kicked up a notch, and I'm too close. I put a hand on his chest, he seems to be leaning in and I'm helpless to stop him.
"I've been wanting to do this forever" he murmurs, bringing his forehead down to mine. "Please?" He says in a low voice, and I can feel this liquid heat shoot through me. I shudder slightly, trying to think of a good reason to say no, but I can't form coherent thoughts other than us, together, my hands all over him. I lean up on my toes, and close the distance, and we both moan as we finally kiss.
Mr. Famous Last Name walks in from the other door, and I feel that sweet rush of relief, and that simultaneous pull of attraction. I like his face.
He lights up when he notices I'm standing there. "I'm glad you made it!" he says happily.
We hug, and it feels good to see him again. We both don't live in Karachi the corporate capital, but seem to fly in frequently enough to have met a dozen times in the last six months. I associate my business trips with him and his old and now empty family home, more than my sister who I stay with. She's usually too busy with work, kids, routine, and our schedules rarely overlap, except for our 530 AM coffee before the kids are woken up.
"Where is everyone!" I ask.
"S had to leave town yesterday for a few days, just got off the phone with R he can't make it, and F is saying she's running late at work. It looks like it's just us non Karachi'ites meeting today" He looks a little... guilty? Sheepish?
We've hung alone before, but always on the cusp of friendship bordering on attraction. I've never really been sure if we've been old friends catching up, or adults mutually attracted to each other to see how this will turn out. We start off normally, but then we seem to switch gears mid-conversation into something sexual. Like when we all went to the beach, running to the sea and I felt this deep stomach flipping pull when he took off his shirt to reveal his washboard six pack to jump into the water with everyone. Or when we were talking about something innocuous another time, and R came running up and spilled my water on my t-shirt, and I noticed his eyes go black as he looked at my chest, before quickly averting his eyes and offering me a spare shirt. Tonight suddenly seems more intimate, and I'm not ready for this. Adulthood has made me value my friendships much more than a roll in the hay which can come and go any time.
"Oh! Should we postpone this then?" I suggest.
"Nah let's watch it and share spoilers with them for ditching us" he laughs, and I love the way his eyes crinkle at the corner.
I'm a little hesitant, but my son is already with my sister for the night, and I'm not complaining about a rare stretch of freedom.
We get chips, dip, popcorn, which I have no plans on touching because who needs all those empty calories, and then A dims the lights as the entire wall flickers to life with the movie.
He settles in at the other end of the sofa, and I am a little relieved that there is a comfortable old friend vibe vs. date alone vibe.
Somewhere between the dim lights, cold room, comfortable sofa, and my permanent state of exhaustion, I fall asleep. I surface a little while later, noticing that the movie is still on, but I have a throw on me keeping me warm. I wonder briefly if he's noticed I'm asleep but then go back under before I can ask.
I briefly wake up again during a loud action sequence, and notice that I'm now lying horizontal on the sofa, and my legs are in his lap, my calves across his thighs under the makeshift blanket. I consider checking in with the baby sitter, but before I can reach for the phone, the nap feels too good and pulls me under again.
I wake up, and the credits are rolling. Shit I fell asleep through the entire movie. I'm not quite surprised, as I haven't had the mental bandwidth to stay awake through an entire movie since I gave birth. Hilariously, I notice that A is asleep as well, snoring slightly.
I check for drool, and realize I'm still lying down my legs sprawled over him. Nothing says platonic friendship like falling asleep together. I can't help but laugh again, but bite my lip and try to clamp it down so I don't wake him up. The situation feels funnier by the second, and I'm trying to still my shaking shoulders, wondering if I should get up, when his eyes flick open.
It takes him a second to re-surface, and then he notices me dying of laughter and we both crack up at normal volume.
"Well that's a first" he says, and is reaching for my legs to either tickle my feet or put them down.
"Is that a Cornetto in your pocket or are you just happy to see me" I shriek with laughter, referring to an old joke.
"You did NOT just go there" he flings my legs off him, and stands up immediately. "I am NOT a fifteen year old walking hard-on anymore!" he says part defensively and part laughing. I can't stop shrieking with laughter. He reaches over and grabs me in a neck lock and ruffles my hair. I'm still howling with laughter but also with horror at my hair getting ruined, trying to get him off me. "Plus she never wore a bra, and our uniforms were SEE THROUGH. And it was twenty years ago!" he's trying to yell above my laughter.
I finally free myself and scramble up, and he stands up annoyed but also seeing the humor. "I will SO tell everyone we slept together" he finally comes up as revenge. I laugh some more because it's technically true. He's stretching his long frame, over six feet of lean muscle, and my mind switches gears to thinking about him, naked, in bed, over me. God I have such a dirty mind!
He hits the remote to get the lights on, and the spell is broken as the background noise stops and we're suddenly in silence.
"Dear God that was a great nap" he says, looking mildly surprised. "I can never just simply fall asleep anymore!"
"I do it all the time! I should have warned you" I chuckle. "But now I probably won't be able to sleep for the rest of the night"
"I thought it was hilarious when you nodded off by the way. But not anymore. I think I'm going to watch movies to nap forever now" his eyes still hold mirth.
I quickly check again for drool and smudged makeup, and hunt under the sofa for my bag.
"Ok I'm going to go now" "Let's grab some dinner" we say simultaneously. Then laugh.
"You're going to be up, let's just hang out a little while more" he says. "I'll drop you back later."
"Oh! Ok, why not" One night of freedom from single mom-ing sounds pretty good, why not extend it a little longer. It's not like anything other than Netflix or a book await me. Maybe some emails or finishing that report. Hanging out sounds better. "I'll try to stay awake this time, but try to be more interesting" I poke his side, and he elbows me while grabbing the phone and dialing take out.
"Pizza?" He asks, and he's read my mind. Yum.
He's talking on the phone, and walks over to the liquor cabinet and pulls out some scotch. I wrinkle my nose in disgust when he silently offers me some while continuing to order. He points to wine, and I shrug a why not. He covers the mouthpiece and asks if I want anything else, and then finishes up the call.
"So how have you been" He says as he comes around to my side of the bar, sitting on the stool next to me. I turn to him, and our knees almost bump.
"Trapped in travel lust. Dying to take my next vacation" I say.
"Who isn't!" We discuss the pros and cons of Europe in the summer vs. East Asian beaches. He tells me about his new real estate investment in Pattaya, I tell him about how my Borneo jungle walk was amazing, but I preferred the Langkawi resort with its beach and giant pool which had a resident monitor lizard. I sigh as I recount a wedding I saw from my beach lounger, a man in a full Scottish kilt marrying a beautiful local in her sea of white lace, as the wedding party had a crazy time well into the night.
"You should have a destination wedding" he suggests. "I can see you in a wedding gown in the beach" His eyes go a little dark, and our gear notches up to sexual tension for some reason.
"And mandatory flipflops and tequila shots to enter!" I crack to lighten the mood.
"Oh my God Z was completely and utterly plastered on your mehndi you remember! He refused to leave till his friends came and physically picked him up and took him home" he laughs, but is shaking his head in disbelief. "He was an ass even then!"
"Yes! I had suggested taking some wine to calm my nerves before the wedding and he threw a fit and completely forbade me from having any alcohol. And then the first time I had seen him at our wedding, he was so drunk he couldn't walk!" I can laugh about it now, but it had annoyed me for quite a while at the time.
Suddenly, the lights go off. Startled, I skid off the stool, mom-reflex kicking in, automatically about to head for baby R. I'm fumbling around unfamiliar hands and legs, when A grabs my arm to steady me, and the automatic generator kicks in and the lights flick back on.
"What on earth are you doing" he's looking at me with a raised eyebrow like I'm crazy. I'm tangled in his legs, his arm on me, while he sits on the barstool looking at me quizzically. "Oh! Mom skills, was trying to run to R to make sure he's not scared" I laugh, feeling stupid. R isn't even here, but some habits are pure instinct. "Plus I'm not used to these stupid power outages!" I laugh.
"Idiot" He says, but there is something in his eyes. Suddenly the gear is kicked up a notch, and I'm too close. I put a hand on his chest, he seems to be leaning in and I'm helpless to stop him.
"I've been wanting to do this forever" he murmurs, bringing his forehead down to mine. "Please?" He says in a low voice, and I can feel this liquid heat shoot through me. I shudder slightly, trying to think of a good reason to say no, but I can't form coherent thoughts other than us, together, my hands all over him. I lean up on my toes, and close the distance, and we both moan as we finally kiss.
1 comment:
you are writing again ;)
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