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Saturday, July 08, 2006

recursive right

this feeling of near throw up seems not to have left for three years now.

i'm sitting at my cubicle, its all a bloody mess, the man standing waiting for me in one of the nicer vendors. by nice i mean he actually is relatively less of a lying cheating scumbag out to fleece me of my budget in any way he can by making any kind of promise he can because promises don't go in writing and can't be legal. sometimes i think thats what every single person is out here to do. strip and rape any available surface, scrabbling for any last shred of flesh clinging to carcasses killed by the heat like the vermin we are as a nation. this will just continue till we finally get blissfully bombed/taken over by a superior more organized and probably more ethical race.

so there he is, at least having the decency to get the orders delivered at the time stated, and following up with integrity and efficieny and a little bit of flattery (it works). except his shipment failed my quality test. the warehouse passed it - i haven't.

my fingers hover over the keyboard, as i get ready to type the letter that will get him kicked off the panel. i feel like i'm drenched in slime regurgiated from his filthy belly. he's very apologetic, his excuse makes sense even to my now suspicious mind. writing out the form will get him screwed, legal action, kicked off the panel and he'll lose the Rs. 3 mil or so he sunk into the shipment.
i'm leaving in two weeks, the brands have been handed over, i have no loyalty to this giant evil corporation that eats souls and spits them out for breakfast.

no one, i mean no one, will ever know if i don't submit it. i don't know of anyone else in the department who's ever followed the procedure and filled one out no matter how bad the case.

i close my eyes, and press send.

this feeling of near throw up seems not to have left for three years now.

1 comment:

Phitaymaun said...

This makes me wonder if working for the govt of the Stan is actually worse than shilling for the multinational corporation.
The moral battle seems to rage with similar brutality, and in earlier posts related to your workplace, it seems the lack of job satisfaction, of appreciation and recognition is also pretty much on the same page.
I suppose working in itself is a shit hole that must be avoided at all costs lest we lose our souls in the process of funding a gucci bag or a Tag Huer watch.
But then it's probably when we land in a position of some responsibility that these ethical conendurums arise, i have freinds who are blissfully ignorant of the parils of drafting policy decisions that will for a fact throw a few lives in the throes of misery. Them computer guys have it the best. All they have to deal with our machines.
Responsibility makes us cruel, i think. And power makes us perpetuate fear.
MAybe that is what is needed to make it big in this increasingly materialistic world. But having had a taste of what it takes, i'm holding back a volley of bile too.